Saturday, February 21, 2009

Abou Ben Mayhem

Abou Ben Mayhem (may his kind decrease),
Harbinger of destruction.. enemy of peace.
Awoke from his slumber.. to a deep chill and gloom..
As a demon made way, into his room .

A harsh growl emerged,from the creature's throat.
As it read from the parchment, which his masters wrote.
"Hear now the words, of the lords whom demons hail,
Heed the words of Lucifer. Beelzebub and Azrael.

This be the list of the damned, that God sent forth.
It is bad news for you, but for what it's worth.
Of all those who sinned and those condemned,
you lead the list.. you await judgement."

"This isn't news to me", Mayhem grinned..
"Satan is my master, its for him I have sinned.
A faithful servant,I have been to my Lord.
wont Lucifer make me, the leader of his Hordes?"

"The demon burst out laughing.. "surely you jest..
Satan make you captain?? hah.. you imbecile pest.
Of the tools of evil.. you're but one of many.
You'll all face the heat, the Master doesn't spare any".

"Go to sleep tonight, tomorrow the Reaper comes.
I am off on my trail again,to cover more homes.
Be not deluded..because as much as I can tell.
Ages of torment await you.. see you in HELL."

Note : Written with the deepest respect to James Leigh Hunt and Abou Ben Adhem. This poem provides an inverse case study to the original poem. Read the original here.

20 comments:

Anup Bishnoi said...

damn you're good!

harsha said...

no no no.. *you* are good

_manGO_ said...

nice premise for the poem .. but funda nahi chamka obvsly ... am a but uninitiated

really nicely written though ... tu to stud hota ja raha hai :)

harsha said...

Thanks Keede.. :)
and the funda.. read the poem Abou Ben Adhem(link given in the post).

My poem is an inversion of the original.. Ben Adhem is good.. Ben Mayhem is bad. Ben Adhem is blessed. Ben Mayhem is screwed. You get the drift.

Ritheesh said...

Abou Ben Adam is my favorite poem and I don't want to apply inverse here.

Abou Ben Mayhem is awesome .

advertisno said...

And so it is... you deserve the credit you have got here. :)

dan lear said...

I believe your premise is good, and inversion/imitation is a valid form. I would suggest that you abstain from using commas to force pauses; structure your words so that the flow naturally forces pause in the readers' minds. I'd say you are not a novice, but an apprentice. Keep perfecting the craft, and I will follow your blog.

Jeanine said...

I believe that demons are a reality. But there is a verse that comes to mind, "Greater is He who is in me, than he that is in the world". There definitely is a spiritual battle going on.

timethief said...

Well done. :)

Ayesha said...

Hi Harsha,
I love Abou Ben Adhem, it's a childhood favourite :)
So I was apprehensive when I saw the title of your piece. But it was a pleasant surprise! Your poem is amusing and fun to read.

However, I agree with what Dan said about forcing your pauses. Also consider this quote by Colridge- "I wish our clever young poets would remember my homely definitions of prose and poetry; prose, words in their best order, and poetry, the best words in their best order."

It's a deceptively simple quote, but think carefully about what its saying. It's my mantra ;D

harsha said...

@dan lear
thanks for the feedback.. I always think in terms of the rhyme scheme, so it gets difficult to create a natural pause.. maybe writing some blank/free verse will make me understand better

@Jeanine
I do not believe in demons. This piece is kind of allegorical in nature. Moral : Don't be evil :)

@timethief
Thanks for the comment

harsha said...

@Ayesha
Glad you found it interesting.. Abou Ben Adhem was my favorite too.

Nice quote..
The best words in the best order, they shall be :)

Miss Pidgin said...

Whats up and not down my dear friend...;)

YogaforCynics said...

Interesting...as is the original poem, with which I wasn't familiar, and the two work well together...thanks for sharing them....

box offices said...

amazing blog

harsha said...

@YogaforCynics.. my pleasure
@box offices.. thank you :)

Sir Tokes A Lot said...

Don't be Evil. LOL
I guess you think differently after the Google Summer of Code mishap :P.

Day of judgement, God is calling
On their knees, the war pigs crawling
Begging mercy for their sins
Satan, laughing, spreads his wings

In the end Satan gets to laugh no matter what. Maybe it's about accepting your dark side. For as is said in The Prophet "what is evil but good tortured by it's own hunger and thirst".

harsha said...

@Sir-Tokes-a0lot profound man.. very

workhard said...

Good take at poetry...

Poetry

HoneyBee said...

Hi, I'm the alias of riteuni02 from BlogCatalog Poetry Blogger group, and as promised, has come to review your submitted blog.

I'll go one by one:
-Content: you write sparingly but it's the quality that counts and I must say that you are making life difficult here for me LOL And this is only the 3rd blog I've reviewed.
-Design: I must say so far I like your blog presentation the most. If it's a guy, I'd say that he's a clean-cut, good with gadgets, organized
-Plus point: your latest post already captured me, the inverse version of Abou Ben Adhem. And the cool pics. Keep it coming! Already following you on my blogroll.

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